If you’re not having sex with a complete an utter whore-slut, then the three ‘pre-fuck’ dates where you try your hardest to break down your prey’s defences are pretty laborious. You gotta make em laugh, be confident, tell cool stories – it’s all too much pressure! Then when you finally get down to the fucking part, there’s all that sweat and high expectations and aborted babies to deal with. You gotta ask yourself, is it really all worth it?
Getting laid - the chance of catching aids x your partners expectations x having an aborted baby on your soul = I wish I stayed a virgin and jerked off instead